It’s not easy being a hero. You’ve got to want it bad. At first glance, it may seem like a glamorous undertaking, but upon closer inspection, the job requirements are not for the faint of heart.
The good news is that when a hero does land the job he can expect high pay in the form of accolades from the legions of fans who will be reading his story. And if he’s really good he can expect to have job security. The bad news is that authors have a tough time filling these jobs.
Let’s face it, a good hero is a rare commodity; they not only have to excel at their job, but they have to make the reader want to come back for more, which is why a good hero is worth his weight in gold.
Vacancy: Professional Hero for the next book in the Black Dagger Brotherhood Series
Employer: J.R. Ward
Location: Caldwell, NY
Duration: One book with the option for renewal
J.R. Ward and the Black Dagger Brotherhood are seeking a hero with experience in establishing and maintaining a readership. You’ll become part of a dynamic team that helps save a race of vampires from the deadly/evil Omega.
The essential duties, responsibilities, skills, experience and qualities needed for the position include being able to face down Lessers in a dark alley and stab their souls back to the Omega, be adept at communal living, like rap music, speak several languages, have more than a passing familiarity with GQ, own your own pair of ‘shit kickers’ and a leather jacket, know several forms of martial arts, and be proficient with a Balisong, Bowie knife and Dagger. Being able to teleport at a moment’s notice under extreme duress is a plus.
Collaboration with appropriate internal resources to develop comprehensive plans of attack on Lessers to help lead the vampire race back to Caldwell is a must. Being innately sexy and alpha in nature is a prerequisite. There is also a height requirement; do not apply if you are under 6’1”. If selected, we will pay for your relocation to Caldwell, NY. Please send your resume to the above address. All interviews will be held from dusk till dawn. Please, no phone calls or visits.
Wanted: Professional Hero for the Troubleshooter Series
Employer: Suzanne Brockmann
Location: Troubleshooter Headquarters in San Diego
You must be a team player with at least 5 years experience in anti-terrorist tactics. Please do not apply if you do not have previous experience with an AK-47 and a rocket launcher. Working knowledge of diffusing nuclear bombs and rescuing kidnapped civilians is a plus. We’re looking for skilled thinkers with the talent to find quick solutions to problems and think outside the box. Holding your own in the Afghani dessert, earthquake-ravaged Kazbekistan as well as the swamp land of Southern Florida is a must. Defensive driving, hand to hand combat, expertise in communications, jumping out of airplanes and flying helicopters are prerequisites.
International travel and either SEALS BUD/s training or graduation from the FBI academy is a requirement. If you excel at multi-tasking and can handle several significant relationships simultaneously while having an intelligent conversation and a meaningful and long lasting relationship with one heroine you are our ideal candidate.
2011 was our best year yet, and we continue to broaden the scope of the work we do. We are eager to find some key minds to join us in shaping the Troubleshooter series in the decade to come. If this interests you, please send your photo and resume.
Wanted: Professional Hero for the Psy/Changeling Series
Employer: Nalini Singh
Location: Somewhere in the Sierra Mountains and San Francisco
Duration: Three books with an option for renewal
We’re looking for a candidate who has the ability to work effectively as part of a team to develop strategic targets within an overarching plan to save the world from the Psy. You must be willing to work hard and be closely associated with, or a member of the Snow Dancer Wolf Pack or the Dark River Leopard Pack. Shape shifting is an absolute requirement. If you’d had no previous experience, please do not apply. We are not accepting resumes from people who are related to shape-shifters, or who think they might become one in the future; only actual verifiable shape shifters will be considered.
You must be able to combine the cunning and skills of your animal with the intelligence and reasoning of your human. Working within the pack and being subordinate to the pack Alpha is essential. Your top priority and primary responsibilities would include working with the team to ensure the pack’s health, happiness and longevity. Being at the top of your game, fighting well and devising excellent strategy in the war against the Psy is a must. The ideal candidate would have a proven track record in developing and winning a relationship with a heroine and creating an HEA.
In addition to looking for candidates to fill the position of hero we will also be interviewing falcons, rats, deer and bears for secondary characters. Please email your resumes and references to N. Singh, Hawke S. and Lucas Hunter.
As you can see, these are not easy positions to fill, and when you’re Ward, Brockmann and Singh you have to keep filling these positions over and over again with each new book. In this down economy where the price of gas will send you to the garage to fix the flat on your bike, and where your grocery bill is incentive to start that new diet, it’s great to see authors taking advantage of all the supremely qualified job applicants that apply for their books. Ward, Brockmann and Singh are masters at their craft and appreciate how to get the most out of their “employees.”
Marisa is a television producer by day and at night she loves to read. She reviews for the Heart 2 Heart blog.