Thu
May 19 2011 12:30pm

Pimped-Out Penises: That Little Something Extra Heroes Bring to the Table

Lover Avenged by J.R. WardIn the paranormal romance and urban fantasy world, we expect our heroes and heroines to be more than just ordinary folk; we want them to be bigger, faster, funnier, and sexier than their human counterparts. Special powers and skills only lend to the excitement of the storyline.  In fact, some of our heroes are graced with that little something extra special that raises them well above their human counterparts.

Yes, I’m talking about extra or augmented appendages. There are quite a few series out there whose heroes are blessed in this manner.

J.R. Ward’s Lover Avenged hero is Rehvenge. He is feared by all, and would be even more feared if they knew he was a sympath. But he has yet another secret: Under his penis is a barb. A little hook that grabs as he comes in order to ensure no withdrawal from either partner. I’ll admit, when I read that little tidbit I felt some grabbing of my own.

Nicholas by Elizabeth AmberIn Elizabeth Amber’s Lords of Satyr series, her men walk the wild side, with not one but two penises. Egads! What makes this series even more interesting is that the woman they fall in love with can more than match the uniqueness of these men. Raine tells Raine’s story, where Jordan, the love of his life, is a hermaphrodite. I wonder if Raine gets some backdoor loving?

In Laurell K. Hamilton's very erotic Merry Gentry series, we meet Sholtos, King of the Sluaghs. His claim to fame is tentacles.They are represented by wickedly erotic tattoos on his body but manifest as physical weapons of love as he uses them to fullfill his lovers’ multiple partner fantasies. *fanning myself*

Lions and tigers and wolves. OH MY! Lora Leigh’s Breeds series has keep many a romance reader up way past her bed time. The Breeds series introduces many different sexy breeds—feline, wolf, and coyote. These genetically created shape shifters got some extra parts in their making. The manly smoking hot alpha cat men also have the barb o’ love, but theirs attaches to the woman’s g-spot during release. Oh. My. Goodness. This ensures that everyone wins in the end. The wolves in this series are also considerate; they don’t have an extra appendage, but apparently carry some extra, extra large tackle in the box. So they excrete a lubricant in order to offset the pain for their love bunnies.

After researching this most strenuously, I started thinking about what extra special sumtin’ sumtin’ I’d like my hero to possess. I would love to see a hero who could make a clone of himself. Two for the price of one. Yum. So tell me, what extra special feature would you love for your hero to possess?


 

Tori Benson, Smexybooks and at Twitter.

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38 comments
Natasha Carty
1. WickedLilPixie
TENTACLES!! Sorry, I had to scream that! Blame Larissa & Jess Haines.
Misa Buckley
2. Misa Buckley
"I would love to see a hero who could make a clone of himself. Two for the price of one."

See, this is why I like Ba'al (Stargate SG1) He's hot by himself, but add the clones (at least twenty - can you even imagine?) and... yeah. I might have one or two fantasies about that little storyline :D
Victoria Janssen
3. VictoriaJanssen
Check out Emma Holly's Prince of Ice--some truly spectacular alien anatomy!
Misa Buckley
4. torifl
WickedLiLPixie- *giggle* The tentacles KILL ME every single time.

Misa Buckley-Oh my yes. He is very yummy. I'd like a Gerald Butler clone. In a kilt.

VictoriaJanssen-I'll give that one a try. I've heard her heros are, urrr, 'amazing'. :P
Carmen Pinzon
6. bungluna
Shelly Laurenston's "The Mane Squeeze" has a bear shifter hero with rather special lips, which the heroine seems to appreciate enormously.
Misa Buckley
7. Lucky4
Okay...I'm definitely moving the BDB books to the top of my TBR list!!!! Hotter books mean my hubby gets "extra" and he's not complaining! ;)
Heather Waters (redline_)
8. redline_
I can think of some heroes I'd like to see cloned too! Mmm...
Carrie Strickler
9. DyslexicSquirrel
Two penises? Um, no thanks. I have enough problems dealing with men who only have one.
Misa Buckley
10. Rose In RoseBear
On Babylon 5, the Centauri reproductive organs included long tentacles with broad, flattish ends. Apparently these ends were also ---- ahem --- adhesive, since Lando used them to cheat at card games! Talk about winning!

Odd you should post on this topic today. I'm looking for an sf/threesome erotic romance that I read years ago. The alpha male was the human captain of a (sentiemt?) ship, the woman was the human navigator, and the other male was an alien with dual penises. The woman was somehow mutated into a feral female of the alien's race during an espionage mission. It may have been the first novel of a series.

Does this sound familiar to anyone?
Misa Buckley
11. torifl
Marissa Haire-The second comes 'a knocking' only during special times. It's like the gift that keeps on giving. LOL

bungluna-Dear lord, I forgot about those 'special lips".

Lucky4-Rehv is full of yummy.

redline_ LOL

DyslexicSquirrel-LOL I know the feeling. o_O



Rose In RoseBear0- Iswear that sounds familiar. I'm going to research for you.
Misa Buckley
13. BookaholicCat
I think I'm ok with Rehv and his barb. But Sholtos's tentacles gave me the creeps.
Carrie Strickler
14. DyslexicSquirrel
@torifl: I can just imagine having to reassure him that both of them were the best thing I'd ever seen. Gives me a mirgaine. >_>;
Larissa Benoliel
15. larissa_sarah
TENTACLES! YES! Sholto is THE man!!! Love him!

@bungluna

"Shelly Laurenston's "The Mane Squeeze" has a bear shifter hero with rather special lips, which the heroine seems to appreciate enormously."

YES! Love Locke! =D

Awesome article Tori!!!
Misa Buckley
16. MelM
Rose in Rosebear is it Morgan Hawke's Star series you're looking for? Victorious Star, Fallen Star, and Lost Star. I think Victorious Star is the one you mentioned.
Misa Buckley
17. MistMiraHaven
I agree with Misa Buckley; Ba'al is hot hot hot. He is too delicious.
Misa Buckley
18. Rose In RoseBear
@MelM: Yes, yes, yes!!! When I read your response, I remembered the names! Thank you, thank you, thank you!
Louise Partain
19. Louise321
Well I for one had some pretty torrid dreams last night after reading this post.
Pamela Webb-Elliott
21. Spaz
WOO HOO for Fareaky Pimped-Out Dicks!!! \m/\m/
Misa Buckley
23. Rose In RoseBear
@MelM: So I went and downloaded the three novels in Morgan Hawkes' series Interstellar Service & Discipline series. One of the heroes in the third book, Fallen Star, needs to be mentioned on this thread. Not only does he have two penises, both are pierced and decorated with metal balls under the skin. Fasten your seatbelts --- it's a bumpy ride!
Misa Buckley
24. ocanana
I think a longish prehensil tongue could be interesting. Are there any out there, fictional or otherwise?
Misa Buckley
25. LaLaLona
Annette Blair's "Works Like Magick" series features dragons who have prehensile equipment. Makes me curious just thinking about it. Lol
Misa Buckley
26. torifl
Rose In RoseBear-"Not only does he have two penises, both are pierced and decorated with metal balls under the skin."
Holy full metal jacket batman. :O
S Tieh
27. infinitieh
Um, not tentacles. They remind me too much of Japanese porn.
Misa Buckley
28. rdsangel127117
My hero would have a barb like Rehv. Yum-my! Tentacles? No! Too much like bugs and I can't stand the things! As for two penises? Gotta agree with Dyslexic Squirrel and Marissa Haire's comments on that. Adding to those comments, I'll say when I imagine that, it's just plain creeps me out. I can't even wrap my head around it. :)
Carrie Strickler
29. DyslexicSquirrel
"Not only does he have two penises, both are pierced and decorated with metal balls under the skin."

That... kind of made me gag. o_o
Pamela Webb-Elliott
30. Spaz
@DyslexicSquirrel - That's what she said!
(SORRY, I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF)
Robyn Lee
31. robyny2ik
What about Cheryl Brooks's Cat Star Chronicle boys? Not only can their equipment move independently including doing a full 360, they have a fluted edge that secretes happy, happy, joy, joy juice.
Carrie Strickler
32. DyslexicSquirrel
@spazp: No apology needed! I'm a big fan of that's what she said jokes. Sometimes, I'll set them up perfectly and people leave me hangin'. Makes me a sad squirrel.
Misa Buckley
33. rdsangel127117
Okay. So, I got very curious about Elizabeth Amber's guys with two penises. Since I've never read any of her books, I read the review on her latest one called "Bastian" and bought it. Enough sex, but not page for page, which gets boring after a bit. Very enjoyable so far. Really good writing and a good story. I've gotten to the part about the two penises and why he has them. After reading the scene, I'm not surprised about them. Because of what he was it made sense. I have to say I've never read anything as inventive as the idea with the two penises. I thought this would make me feel different about him, but it didn't. He's very likeable and he's kinda flawed, which is the way I like my heroes. Not perfect. Now, I'm going to have to read her backlist.
:)
Gloria S
34. GloriaS
OK I am new here and this is the FIRST of anything I read! TWO penises?? Now ... oh alright... but ... beads and ... ok...can you tell I am ordering these right now!!! I am a Lora Leigh Breeds addict and this came just in time because I have read them all some twice!! Thank ya!
Misa Buckley
35. HoneyDipJewels
Say Waaa?
I am so telling Mom Tash! Ha ha! You Wicked lil Pixie-girl! Lions
and Tigers and two penises Oh my! Where's my copy sista??? You
didn't tell me things get this juicy in your books ... Not sure I could
handle 2 penises on the side and my honey too humm ... I won't tell
Mom if you don't! (Smile)
Thanks for the great reviews and inspiration to kick it with a good-
ol fashioned novel again. I've missed it.
Peace lil Pixie Sis xo
Misa Buckley
36. MomBlogger
"I would love to see a hero who could make a clone of himself. Two for the price of one."

Well - how about BOTH? Two penises AND clones??? In one of the Lords of Satyr books (Bastian I think) - he is sick and needs sex, so while unconscious he creates 2 clones of himself to have sex with a woman in order to heal his unconscious body. How about that for talent??? Yummmy
Misa Buckley
37. Vavita
in the books from Larissa Ione, the guys of the Demonica series (who happen to be demons - succubus) have in their sperm something that make their partners even more aroused. So imagine what happens when they have oral sex and the girls swallow the semen... they can have non-stop orgasms for hours...
Toni Mac
38. NoCigar
I am COMPLETELY addicted to LL's Breed series. I re-read a lot of her books and I just can't seem to get enough. It's like once I pick one up I can't put it down till I finish the next page then the next then the next then the whole book!! lol. And the barb they have.... I would love a go at that. Yumm. Two love sticks? Hi there!! Tentacles? I'd try it. I would try anything at least once. Who's to say I wouldn't like it!! And if I don't at least I can say I tried it. But too bad it's only in sf.
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