WikiHow is great for things like How to Tile a Bathroom Floor or even How to Choose a Good Office Plant. But How to Write a Love Poem? Really? And...does it work?!
Obviously, we had to find out. And by “we,” I really mean, “my coworker Clare.” Here's what she took away from the article, step by step:
Step 1: FIRST SIGHT, LOVE FEELINGS, TOGETHERNESS
When I first saw you , I really liked your pants. My stomach feels weird when I’m near you. Being together, I know it’s forever.
Step 2: ADD STRONG VERBS, PRONOUNS, AND SENSORY DETAIL
When I first spied you, Gerome, I coveted your sparkly jeans. My stomach heaves like crazy when I smell you. Being together and warm, I know it’s forever.
Steps 3-4: ADD A METAPHOR
When I first spied you, Gerome, your sparkly jeans fit you like sequined banana peels. My stomach heaves like nausea at the violence of your scent, because ripe fruit does that to me. Together and warm now, forever, it’s like we’re wearing the same skin.
Steps 5-9: REFINE, LINE BREAKS, FROM THE HEART
Spied on you / Gerome Sparkly Jeans / with your Sequined Banana / Heaves, Nausea, Violence / then Together / Warm Forever / I’m wearing your Skin
Errr...
(Says Clare of her masterpiece: I know it was supposed to be a love poem, but it went kind of Silence of the Lambs on me. Must be the directions’ fault!)
So what do you think? Anyone else out there want to give it a whirl? We promise not to laugh. Much.
Magnetic fridge poetry image courtesy of Minimalist Photography via Flickr
