Sat
Mar 12 2011 3:00pm

Obsession Confession: My Twilight Addiction is Disney’s Fault

Twilight posterThe question that enters my mind as I go into Duane Reade (a New York drugstore chain) to purchase earplugs before getting in line to wait at least an hour and a half before the premiere of the new Twilight movie is always “Why?”

What is it about this series that always keeps me coming back for more? I’m a 20-something female who, along with millions of fans, is drawn to this one story, and to me it doesn’t make much sense.

The plot is thin, the dialogue between the characters is sophomoric, and don’t even get me started on the acting abilities of Kristen Stewart or, more appropriately, the lack thereof.

This Takes Me Back . . .YET I ran to the store to purchase the complete series after I read the first book and I’m on Fandago at least a month before the next movie comes out purchasing my tickets to the midnight show. WHY, I ask you?? For a long while I racked my brain as to why I continue to behave irrationality when it comes to Twilight and then like a dumbbell it hit me. I know exactly who to blame for my Twilight fixes: It’s DISNEY.

I am a child of the late '80s/early '90s, and in 1989, a movie about a little mermaid in the sea wishing she could be where the “people” are lead to a newfound discovery of Disney princesses. With Beauty and the Beast and Aladdin to follow The Little Mermaid, suddenly little girls everywhere were worshiping the princess kingdom Disney had created.

Thanks to VCRs and instant rewind, our guardians would sit us in front of our box TVs so we could watch these movies over and over and over again. We were literally brainwashed into believing that someday our prince would come, he would kiss us very lightly on the lips, and then we would get married and live happily ever after.

Yet I never remember Walt chiming in during Snow White to remind her to take her birth control; she did live with seven men, after all. Or where is the story about Prince Charming and his commitment issues? She shows up in a blue dress and glass slippers and suddenly he’s down on one knee with a ring? Madness, I tell you. And yet we buy into it—how couldn’t we? The young impressionable mind of a 10-year-old girl with Disney quietly whispering in your ear that this is what will happen when you grow up, little one, and all your dreams will come true.

So let’s fast forward a few years. We’ve hit puberty and now sex becomes the dangling carrot in front of our faces. In the back of our 13-year-old minds, Prince Charming is still on his white horse waiting to knock on our front door, and now our raging hormones are calling for more than a little peck on the cheek. So what’s a girl to do? Let’s recreate this prince into something a bit more suitable.

First, he can’t be a man—men are large hairy threatening beasts who will tarnish our purity—so we’ll make him a teenager. Sounds like a sensible plan so far, right? But we want him to have the wisdom that only comes from age and experience, sooo let’s give him the body of a teenager with the mind of an 80-year-old (not at all creepy). Good, good.

Now we need a little bit of danger—who doesn’t like a bad boy?—so let’s make him a supernatural being with deadly powers but not too threatening, so let’s make him sparkle in the sun . . . got it, a vampire. Ooh, and let’s give him the morals of a Victorian gentleman. Put it in a pot, mix it together, add some late-night spooning and a shirtless handsome werewolf also vying for your attention to boost your ego to its max, and you get Twilight.

Bella holding feathers in Breaking DawnYour rational brain is screaming for you to get a grip on your reality—this scenario is ridiculous!—but you can’t help it! Who doesn’t all want to feel that excitement and butterflies all over again? Every day of being 13 was full of heightened emotion and expectations that had more drama than a marathon of soap operas.

Twilight transports me back to being that little girl, with my pillows propped up, singing at the top of my lungs, pretending I’m on a beach, that one day I will be a part of that world! And it tells me it’s okay to brush my hair with a fork at the dinner table.

Twilight's a vacation from all the cynicism and feelings of hopelessness that women so often experience with men. You have a chance to believe that for just one moment a man actually cares about your feelings and is willing to have snuggle time without bartering for sex.

So drag your best girlfriends and stand in line for the next Twilight flick giggling like little schoolgirls hunting down their crush by their locker. Edward, your perfect prince, will be waiting for you when you get there.

And don’t worry, half-demon flesh-eating babies comes after marriage. :)


 

Stephanie Treanor lives in New York, absolutely hates egg salad sandwiches, and has reconnected with her former love of all things Romance thanks to her job here at heroesandheartbreakers.com.

Subscribe to this conversation (must be logged in):
Individual - You will receive an alert for each comment added to this post.
Digest - You will receive an end-of-day alert for all comments added to this post.
5 comments
Keira Gillett
1. Keira
I too saw the connection between Little Mermaid and Twilight. Bella is the Mermaid (even though Edward wishes he was human) because she wants to join the vampires and connect with Edward on that level. I like the books and movies (especially Robert Pattinson... think he'd ever show up knocking on my door? He doesn't need a white horse, just a white car... lol) despite their flaws.
romance reader
2. bookstorecat
"And don’t worry, half-demon flesh-eating babies comes after marriage. :)"


You've made me suddenly realize that Breaking Dawn wasn't so batsht crazy after all--it was just a graphic metaphor for real parenthood.
Stephanie Treanor
3. Streanor
@Keira .. I'm so glad you noticed the connection! Although i always felt that Eric secretly wanted to be a merman.. i mean who wouldn't that underwater world, it is pretty cool.

@bookstorecat OH Plenty of batshit crazyness in breaking dawn, i had to read that page over atleast 7 times to truly believe it. I guess I was subconciously predicting my future.. I'm 7 months pregnant and also having a girl, fully human though :)
Heather Waters (redline_)
4. redline_
You know, Twilight grabbed me in much the same way at first (at least before it became all the rage . . . when it did, I quickly grew tired of it, and then the movies came out and it's now neverending!). And as horrible as I find the movies to be (the makeup! the acting!), I still go see them on opening night. I don't know why!
SillyJaime @ Jaime 2.0
5. SillyJaime @ Jaime 2.0
Can I be honest here? I totally wanted to marry Prince Eric when I was little. I mean... he had perfect EVERYTHING. He seemed to be manly and caring, and he literally always had perfect hair. I wanted to be Ariel, because she had this sleek fin and I didn't know how to swim (I still don't). She could breathe under water and she was beautiful and her hair was alaways so perfect!

After reading this, I completely agree with everything you said, being a child of the 80's-90's myself. :]
Post a comment