Sun
Feb 13 2011 5:00am

To Die For: Gifts For Your Vampire Lover

Bleeding Heart

Whether it's Valentine's Day or any other gift-giving time, what kind of gift would you give to someone who is basically immortal?! You think buying a gift for your mother is hard, try buying something for someone who has seen it all and lived through it! I think the shopping list for your vampire sweetie would be the easiest of the paranormals.

Why? Because you have a huge verity of things to buy for your fanged lover! From vampire wines to casket couches, I’ve found it all so you can gift your immortal with something special!

First on the list (no, not sparkles) a lifetime membership to . . . SPRAY TANS! It’s got to suck (no pun intended) to be almost translucent, you can’t tan because you’ll go extra crispy so spray tans are awesome for the vamp in your life. I figure you can’t put a vampire in a tanning bed; UV is UV no matter what. So stock up on spray tans!

Don’t you think that would be perfect for J.R. Ward's Black Dagger Brotherhood? I know the boys would have a blast with a spray tan booth in the mansion!

Fang Tooth Earrings With Blood Vial

Angelina Jolie did it, so why can’t real vampires? With Blood Vial Jewelry, you can get the undead love of your undead life a pair of earrings filled with their favorite donor’s blood, and even better, it comes in a fang shaped charm.

I’m thinking those would be perfect for Nina from Dakota Cassidy’s Accidental Series;  Nina would totally sport those with pride!

One can never have enough furniture and furniture that reminds you of your not so final resting place tops the list!

How can you not want that couch for yourself, never mind the Vampire in your life? Who wouldn’t love a coffin couch! As for who to give the coffin couch to, Jean Claude from Laurell K. Hamilton's Anita Blake Series seems like he’d enjoy it.

Coffin Bookcase

Of course the vampire you love is a reader; one has to be if they want to stay current. Plus, they've got an eternity to read. What better way to show off your book collection than in a casket? Classy classy. I think they’d be perfect in Glory St. Clair’s (Gerry Bartlett’s series) vintage store, since she’s always dressing the part as a vampire without revealing that she really is one.

Vampire ladies love to look sexy, and then can do so in a awesome pair of Iron Fist Digital Vamp high heels. Aren’t they beautiful?

 

Those scream Ivy from Kim Harrison’s Hollow Series. Ivy would totally kick ass in vampire platforms, as long as she didn’t break a heel.

Vampires seem to love their drinks and Vampire Wine is perfect for their sensitive taste buds. I’m not a fan of red wines, but I can tell you that Vampire Merlot is to die for. They even have vampire coffee for those immortals who don’t drink, aren’t they thoughtful?

Vampire Wine and Gold-Plated CasketWhat vampire wouldn’t want to drink Vampire Wine, none. All of them would love a sip, but the first in line would be Eric from the Southern Vampire series, can’t you see him selling this at his bar? I can.

For the vampire who has everything how about gold plated casket to spend his/her nights in?

This might even reduce the number of vamp attacks; after all, if this were YOUR eternal resting place, would you want to leave, even if it was to find a deliciously bloody snack? it looks so cosy!

But which vampire is indulgent enough to want a gold plated casket? Before you answer “all of them,” think about it—most of them dress in black designer wear, none of them would be caught dead in blue velvet—would they?

 

Of course, getting a good day's sleep might be worth the indignity of blue velvet . . .

 



 

Natasha Carty reviews Paranormal Romance and Urban Fantasy on her website WickedLilPixie and lives in Toronto, Canada with her cat Seamus.

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6 comments
KB/KT Grant
3. KB/KT Grant
Can I have the coffin bookcase?
Natasha Carty
4. WickedLilPixie
Isn't it awesome?! I love the couch, but alas it would cost the price of my final resting place.
KB/KT Grant
6. TheSpinecracker
I'm totally giggling at the way the guy is holding his hands in the spraytan pic...

Great article!
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