Don’t miss Regina Thorne’s recaps of “The North Remembers,” “The Night Lands,” “What Is Dead May Never Die,” “Garden of Bones,” and last week’s “The Ghost of Harrenhal.” All caught up? Good. Now, on to...

Game of Thrones Season 2, episode 6, “The Old Gods and the New”:

**********SPOILERS**********

The episode opens with Maester Luwin frantically sending out a raven out of Winterfell. Before I can figure out what the ravenly equivalent of a dovecote is, two Greyjoy men burst through the door of the raven house.

For a few seconds, I wonder if this is one of Bran’s prophetic wolf dreams, but unfortunately, this is no dream, even though Bran is sleeping, sans direwolf. (Where is that enormous, barely tamed creature who ripped out the throat of the last guy to threaten Bran in that room?) Bran could certainly use an animal protector right now; he’s woken by Theon Greyjoy, announcing that he, henceforth “Prince” Theon, has taken Winterfell. Theon tells Bran that a proper lord would surrender the castle and tell its inhabitants to obey the invaders so they don’t get killed.

[Is this really the way to get respect, Theon?...]

Don’t miss Regina Thorne’s recaps of “The North Remembers,” “The Night Lands,” “What Is Dead May Never Die,” and last week’s “Garden of Bones.” All caught up? Good. Now, on to...

Game of Thrones Season 2, episode 5, “The Ghost of Harrenhal”:

**********SPOILERS**********

The episode opens in Renly’s encampment. Renly, guarded by Brienne, is having a parlay with Catelyn. He tells Catelyn that, so long as Robb swears fealty to him, Robb can call himself King in the North and be independent. It’s not as though Renly has any plans to visit the frozen wastelands. Catelyn is a little bit hesitant about the fealty thing until Renly reminds her that her husband Ned swore the same oath to his brother Robert. Renly promises that tomorrow, after he’s defeated Stannis, he’ll make common cause with Robb to bring down the Lannisters. Hey, things are looking up for the Starks! That won’t last long.

[Never let your guard down with this show...]

Game of Thrones Season 2, episode 4, “Garden of Bones”:

**********SPOILERS**********

We open somewhere very rainy, where a couple of Lannister soldiers are having one of those pointless discussions about the most fearsome knight in Westeros and making fart jokes. I’m sure these guys are going to be dead soon, because Lannister soldiers have the lifespan of Spinal Tap drummers. Sure enough, before they can decide between Gregor Clegane, Jaime Lannister or Loras Tyrell, a snarling direwolf interrupts them and we fade to black.

The lights come on again in the aftermath of another victory for Robb Stark. Roose Bolton, the Northern lord who’s accompanying Robb on his tour of the battlefield, mentions that the Lannisters have lost five men to every one of Robb’s. At this rate, attrition should take care of the Lannisters in another hour or so. Lord Bolton wants to execute the prisoners because they’re eating too much, although he’s willing to spare the officers so he can torture them to find out Tywin Lannister’s battle plans. Robb demurs on both counts, pointing out that the Lannisters will surely avenge themselves on his sisters if he starts torturing and executing prisoners.

(Need to catch up? Don’t miss Regina Thorne’s recaps of “The North Remembers,” “The Night Lands,” and “What Is Dead May Never Die.”)

[Well sure, and why else wouldn’t you want to torture and execute prisoners of war?...]

********SPOILERS********

We open directly after the end of last week’s cliffhanger. Craster throws a bloodied-up Jon on the floor and orders the Night’s Watch to leave his home immediately. Lord Mormont sends Jon outside to wait for him. Bloody-faced Jon tries to tell Mormont about what Craster was doing with his baby. It turns out that the Night’s Watch has known all along about the bargain Craster made with “crueler gods” but has ignored the man’s evildoing for the sake of expediency: Craster’s Keep and its warmth and food have saved many Rangers’ lives. Jon’s attempt to interrupt Mormont’s lesson in Realpolitik to tell him about the White Walker is also unsuccessful.

(Need to catch up? Don’t miss Regina Thorne’s recaps of “The North Remembers” and “The Night Lands.”)

Apparently the Night’s Watch has more important stuff to do than chase after creepy blue-eyed ice-people. Excuse me, but isn’t that kind of their job? And didn’t a creepy blue-eyed zombie try to kill Lord Mormont not very long ago? I think he should pay more attention to Jon, especially because Jon looks extra-good with that blood on his face.

[Like you weren’t thinking it too...]

Many things are rotten in the Seven Kingdoms, and tonight’s Game of Thrones was a particularly fishy affair, culminating in a Red/Lobster coupling. On the other hand, there were a lot of Arya scenes and Tyrion scenes, which made it a great episode.

(Need to catch up? Don’t miss Regina Thorne’s recap of last week’s episode, “The North Remembers.”)

We open this week on the road with Yoren’s merry band of future Nightswatchmen. Arya Stark encounters the hazards faced by ladies on road trips from time immemorial: the lack of private toilet facilities.

[Fun times...]

Game of Thrones is back, bigger and better than ever and I’m back to recap all the action for everyone, with the same drill as last season: I won’t be posting any spoilers for anything that happens later in the series, but I will tell you the names of the new characters and their relationships to the old ones.

At the end of last season (Game of Thrones Episode Ten), we left many of our characters in precarious situations. My husband was really confused about what was going on with everyone, so here’s the update I gave him:

Dead: Ned Stark (beheaded); assorted horses (beheaded); Robert Baratheon (gored by a boar); Viserys Targaryen (received a golden crown); Khal Drogo (turned into a vegetable); assorted members of Ned Stark’s household (stabbed with spears, knives, etc.); Mirri Maaz Duur, witch (burned alive.)

On the road headed north: Arya Stark, traveling as “Arry” after a haircut by Yoren the Night’s Watch recruiter. Also in her group, assorted scary criminals, and Gendry, Robert Baratheon’s bastard son.

[The recap is coming...]

“All for one, and one for all ...” The stirring motto of the three musketeers—Athos, Porthos, and Aramis—is about to be heard in movie theaters again (tomorrow, in fact), and the prospect of an imminent reunion with some of my favorite swashbucklers made me revisit the works of Alexandre Dumas.

Published nearly 170 years ago, The Three Musketeers (first serialized in 1844) continues to charm perhaps because Dumas doesn’t take himself that seriously. Our heroes are not the upright, morally impeccable and completely humorless characters of Dumas’s near contemporary, Sir Walter Scott; D’Artagnan is young, naive, clearly out of his depth at first, and occasionally a figure of comic fun (the Gascons were apparently the butt of nineteenth century French jokes in the same way that, say, Polish jokes abounded in the Midwestern United States.) The three Musketeers themselves are a mixed bag—Porthos is a glutton and a mercenary whose goal is to marry for money and lead a life of ease; Aramis is a would-be priest who consoles himself for the loss of his clerical ambitions with swordplay, both actual and metaphorical with various ladies of his acquaintance, and Athos, the straight man of the group, has a complex hidden background that’s slowly revealed throughout the book.

[How does Dumas hold up?...]

Previously on “Game of Thrones:”Varys tells Ned to serve the realm and save his daughter’s life; Drogo is dying until Dany asks the captured healer Mirri Maaz Durr to save him; Tywin tries to get Tyrion killed by putting him in the vanguard of the battle he’s about to fight with the Starks; only death pays for life; Jorah fights a Dothraki and Dany goes into labor; Tyrion lives through his battle, but Jaime’s captured at the end of *his*; Ned confesses to treason as Yoren the Night’s Watch dude grabs Arya to stop her from doing something stupid; Joffrey does something stupid, and orders Ned’s execution, much to everyone’s surprise.

[Oh, is THAT all?]

In the previouslies, a lot of very bad things happen:  Syrio doesn’t flee; reanimated dead men attack Lord Mormont; Ned enjoys the hospitality of King’s Landing’s dungeon; Robb refuses an invitation to the same party; Tyrion makes a bunch of shaggy and violent friends; Drogo is wounded; Jaime is sent off to fight at Riverrun; Robb needs to cross the river.

Also, lots of other things happened, which you can read about in recaps of “Winter is Coming,” “The Kingsroad,” “Lord Snow,” “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things,” “The Wolf and the Lion,” “A Golden Crown,” “You Win or You Die,” and “The Pointy End.”

***

The wonderful credits show a new location - the Twins, which lie across a big river en route from Winterfell to King’s landing.

[Okay, so if you’re not caught up by now, it’s not our fault. Also, SPOILERS!...]

Previously on “Game of Thrones”, Ned realized that he’d made a huge mistake in trusting Pimp Daddy Baelish. Also, lots of other things happened, which you can read about in recaps of “Winter is Coming,” “The Kingsroad,” “Lord Snow,” “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things,” “The Wolf and the Lion,” “A Golden Crown,” and “You Win or You Die.”

[By now, if you don’t know there are spoilers ahead, we need to have a talk.]

Previously on Game of Thrones, Episode Six, aka “The Golden Crown,” Ned Stark’s dim lightbulb went on and he realized that Prince Joffrey and his brother and sister are not Robert Baratheon’s kids. He also summoned Big Daddy Lannister to King’s Landing for a little chat about what his bannermen have been up to. Also, Viserys Targaryen learned that sometimes you should be careful what you wish for ...

Episode five, otherwise known as “The Wolf and the Lion,” was the week prior, and before that was “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things” (episode four), along with previous epis “Lord Snow,” preceded by “The Kingsroad,” and it all started out with “Winter is Coming.”

[Okay, so if you’re not caught up by now, it’s not our fault. Also, SPOILERS!]

Game of Thrones episode six is titled “The Golden Crown,” and although a crown made of gold might seem great, all is not what it seems. But you knew that.

Episode five, otherwise known as “The Wolf and the Lion,” was covered last week, and prior to that was “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things” (episode four), along with previous epis “Lord Snow,” preceded by “The Kingsroad,” and it all started out with “Winter is Coming.”

[Whew!...]

Game of Thrones episode five, titled “The Wolf and the Lion,” begins even before the beginning, since each credits sequence changes, depending on where that episode's action takes us.

(If you're not up-to-date, episode four, also titled “Cripples, Bastards and Broken Things,” is recapped, as well as previous epis “Lord Snow,” preceded by “The Kingsroad,” and it all started out with “Winter Is Coming.” All-righty, then. Let's begin.

[Spoilers are coming...]

Are you up to date with the Game of Thrones? Last week's episode was titled “Lord Snow,” preceded by “The Kingsroad,” and it all started out with “Winter Is Coming.” Make sure you understand, before continuing, that we have mad spoilers if you're not current with the series.

[You ready now?...]

Previously on Game of Thrones: Cersei proved that she is the spiritual heir of Cruella DeVille by offing Sansa’s direwolf. I think some other things happened that you can read about in the recap of the first episode, titled Winter Is Coming, and the second, The Kingsroad.

***

Ned and the Stark girls arrive in King’s Landing where the crowd raises Ned’s suspicions by wearing bright colors. Ned is immediately greeted by some lackey who tells him that Maester Pycelle has called a meeting of the Small Council and Ned’s presence is requested. Oh great, Ned’s just arrived and already he has to sit through PowerPoint presentations! The lackey suggests that Ned slip into something more comfortable and less stained, but Ned is already running late for his pissing contest with Jaime Lannister.

[And no one wants to miss that...]

Previously on Game of Thrones (full recap of Game of Thrones Episode 1 here):

At Winterfell in the Kingdom of Westeros, Catelyn Stark delivers bad news to her husband Ned: his foster-father, Jon Arryn, is dead and King Robert Baratheon, accompanied by his family, is coming to offer Ned a job he really doesn’t want: That of the Hand of the King, which Arryn had prior to his death.

King Robert’s family includes his wife, Queen Cersei and her two brothers: Jaime “the pretty one” and Tyrion, the witty dwarf who offers Jon Snow, Ned’s bastard, some unsolicited advice. Also, the Starks find a bunch of adorable puppies (direwolves!) who will apparently grow up into ginormous hungry predators. Obviously, Ned lets his children keep them.

Meanwhile, in a more colorful place called Pentos, Danaerys Targaryen is sold into wedded bliss by her brother Viserys, in return for the promise that Danaerys’s new husband Khal Drogo, and his horse-riding Mongol/Hun hybrid people will help win back the throne that King Robert took from Viserys’s father.

Back in Westeros, Lysa Arryn sends a letter to her sister, Catelyn Stark, warning her that the Lannisters murdered Jon Arryn, Lysa’s husband. Later on, Bran Stark discovers Cersei and Jaime putting the “twin” in twincest; Jaime Lannister does that voodoo that he does so well (sorry, I love Cole Porter) the things he does for love, and pushes Bran out a tall window.

[Onto Episode 2!...]

Last night—as though you didn't know—was the premiere of HBO’s Game of Thrones. And I am here to tell you what happened when winter finally arrived. (Disclaimer: I have read the series of books on which the show is based, multiple times, but there will be no spoilers from the books or any future developments in the recaps, I promise. I will only use my knowledge from the books to assign names to characters I would otherwise have to refer to as “guy in the black hat #1” etc.)

With that... the prologue which gives the term “cold open” new meaning. Three guys ride through a long tunnel into a snowy waste and then into a forest. They are Ser Waymar Royce (a snotty rich kid), Gared (a middle-aged beardy silent type) and Will (a wide-eyed young lad whose eyes will get wider in the next few minutes.) They are accompanied by three horses and ominous noises.

[Read more **SPOILERS FOR THE EPISODE WITHIN**...]

Early last week, MSNBC “discovered” that “geek girls” provide a growing audience for science fiction and fantasy, only to be countered a day later by Ginia Bellafante in the New York Times.

In her review of HBO’s new fantasy series Game of Thrones, based on  George R.R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series, Ms. Bellafante claimed that HBO had clearly added “illicitness” (in the form of sex scenes) because “no woman alive would watch otherwise.” She went on to state that although there are undoubtedly “women in the world who read books like Mr. Martin’s... ‘Game of Thrones is boy fiction patronizingly turned out to reach the population’s other half.” In addition to a sharp parody of the review by Annalee Newitz, several writers—among them Tor.com's Amy Ratcliffe, Orbit Books' Daniel Abraham, Salon's Matt Zoller Seitz, and Huffington Post's Ilana Teitelbaum—provided thoughtful responses to Ms. Bellafante's generalizations about the genre, the gender of its fans, and about Game of Thrones in particular.

[Another fan weighs in...]

It all started with The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. Sure, I liked the magical wardrobe and the kids and the talking animals, but it was Edmund, the boy who sold out his family for hot chocolate and Turkish Delight who captured my imagination. And Edmund Pevensie was just the first in a long line of characters in need of redemption who have captured my imagination and my heart.

What makes a good redemption story?

[Repent and read on...]