This post contains SPOILERS for all aired episodes of Game of Thrones, including last night’s Season 4 premiere, “Two Swords.” Enjoy!
On tonight’s episode of Game of Thrones we checked in with old friends, met some new ones and watched scarred men enjoying feasts of roasted chicken and roasted Crow. Welcome back to Westeros, where an episode without a beheading just means we’ll get some cannibalism instead.
In King’s Landing, Tywin and Cersei both got the newly returned Jaime some nifty “welcome home, sorry about your hand!” presents: Tywin gave him a sword melted down from Ned Stark’s giant blade (passing the sword from a man without a head to a man without a hand); Cersei got her brother/lover/baby-daddy an enormous new golden hand, even if a hook would be more practical for a man in Jaime’s predicament. (That thing is so huge, it looks like Jaime should be waving it during the Westeros equivalent of March Madness or the Superbowl—which would probably involve beheadings for the losing team.) After giving Jaime the sword, Tywin tried to browbeat his older son into leaving the Kingsguard, to which Jaime said “no!” which may be the first time any of Tywin’s children have ever said that word to him. Cersei also said “no!” to Jaime’s attempts to get back in her smallclothes. Come to think of it, if Cersei had just said “no!” some seventeen years earlier, she would have spared everyone Joffrey (something that Jaime himself may have pondered after being insulted by the little weasel who is his son/nephew/King).